We Remember Bob

Dear Bob,

When Robin called to let me know you had died, I searched myself, in shock and in disbelief for some way to mourn you.  I walked into my studio anxious to busy my hands and distract my mind, but the clay felt too cold, the table too dry, my tools too dirty, and my mind too filled with sadness.  I couldn’t bring myself to make pots, so did a rare thing and began to clean the studio.  I scrubbed and purged and laughed and cried and remembered you.
At the memorial I had so many things I wanted to tell you.  So many things I wished I had told you.  But most of all I wanted to stand up and stomp my foot.  I wanted to shout, “No, you can’t leave us like this…  ”   Your beautiful family and friends taught me to quiet my anger with their stories of your generosity, your humour, your insights and we embraced and cried for you.  
After the memorial, I came home to an uncommonly clean studio.  I stood at the gleaming canvas table with a cup of coffee in my most lovely Bob mug and began wedging clay.  As I wedged, I noticed a conversation flowing through my fingers and in the marks I left or didn’t leave in the clay.  A conversation that has always been there, but is now so consciously clear:  As I add a handle to a mug or run the rib up the side of a jug.  As I cut the pot form the wheel and as I glaze or load the kiln.   You are there Bob in subtle ways your influence and inspiration is there and always will be.  You were an incredible teacher, mentor and friend.  Good bye dear Bob.  You live on, but  I will miss you always.
Sarah

We will all miss Bob greatly. This picture is from a salt fire workshop Bob had this summer. The best thing about not knowing something at the studio was being able to “ask Bob” and getting his infinite wisdom in return. Bob generously shared his knowledge, wit, and humor. Mere words cannot express my gratitude.

-the taminator

I first met Bob a few years ago after I had fallen ill and was unable to finish the pottery class I was in.  A few months later, when I was well enough, I went to inquire if I would be able to fire the few pieces I had made in the class and the office directed me to find the infamous Bob in the kiln room
I found him and said “you must be the infamous Bob I have heard about”
And he said, without hesitation and flashing that great smile, “that would be me”
and then “How can I help you?” and he was more than helpful at that time and for many, many times over the years (even if the answer wasn’t always what I wanted to hear…) and handled those crude clay vessels with such care and passion as though they had life, as though they were his own.  He passed on that passion to myself and many others to explore further this addiction of clay.
He is one of those special people that one is lucky to meet in their lifetime.  So infinitely knowledgeable, yet humble..so true to himself… so connected to the earth…so wise in this connection
A man who loved his children and grandchildren so deeply, whose eyes sparkled every time he talked about them.  How proud he was of them.  How he let them dig a big pit in the back yard and get covered in mud..
A man of great humour and great smile to match!  Not a day without a pun or a joke or a story to tell – no matter how funny or sometimes so bad,  he made us in the studio smile…
How he had shaved his own head and asked if one of us would “even it out” for him
How he made everything look so easy… and expected us to do the same…
So generous with his time and his attention to all those he met
I am truly grateful to have met him and known him and will cherish those memories for the rest of my life. Thank you Bob
-Kathy Werenka

How John Remembers Bob

Dear Jeannie, Julia, Peter and Angela,

After I spoke to you yesterday, I took a walk down to the ocean, sat on a log, looked up into Desolation Sound and I thought about my friend, Bob Reimer.
 
I remember meeting him, and everyone else, at the girls’ kindergarden family   pic-nic with Janet Flaig behind the arena. Reimers, Carters, Mackenzies, Sinclairs and McHenrys. 

He was making his korny jokes way back then too. Little did I realize how important that meeting would turn out to be for me and my family.
 
Bob was the original Mr. Mom, but by choice. And at the same time, he continued with his pottery. Never mind he’d make a pie from the Hallowe’en pumpkin, he made the pie plate too. He could go from changing a distributor cap to making bread in minutes flat. Definitely a tough act to follow. I always admired him for what he was doing and how he was doing it.

He made me jealous of all the quality time he was spending with his kids and my kids and all the other kids in the neighborhood that always seemed to hang around there. Too many kids didn’t bother Bob. Not much did. Things were always on an even keel with him. The kids fed off that steady, positive attitude. 
You kids were so lucky for that.
 
Later, when I became a Mr Mom myself, Bob being there to help me out sure made my go at it a whole lot easier. I always felt good knowing how much my kids enjoyed being minded by Bob. As much as they missed their Mum, Bob was a pretty good back up and there was always so much going on.
I remember on several occasions, picking them up after work, we couldn’t go home for supper yet because the game of hide and seek wasn’t over. Or whatever else was going on at the time. They too got quality time with him. They got to see this kind, funny, strong, gentle, gifted and generous man of simple but genuine tastes, as you kids did; in his own funny, easy going, laid back manner. My kids were so lucky for that.

Bob was there to help me with my old Volvo wagon when I didn’t have a clue.
He saved my bacon when my brick work on the living room fireplace just about caused a war between Kris and me. I was coming unglued as the cement got drier and harder. As Kris is gathering up the kids to take them out of the profanity laced house she says, “C’mon kids, lets go out, daddy isn’t talking very nice.” Sean says in my defence, “but Mum, he’s having a bad day” As she walked out the door she says,” why don’t u call Bob Reimer, maybe he can help.”  Sure enough, Bob shows right up and 3 litres of water

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A message from Jeannie.

Bob,
I am so grateful that we shared part of our journey through life together.  First as friends and lovers, husband and wife and parents of three amazing children.  Circumstances and the complications of life separated us as legal partners but we came back together as best friends.  I never stopped loving you… your were the best friend anyone could ever hope to have.  You were always there for me and you were the one who listened to me patiently… who understood me, who gave me great advise.  I could tell you anything and we had amazing talks about our children, life, work and the human condition.  You made me feel so safe.  You were the best father my children could ever have and I’m so grateful to have shared parenting them with you.  You taught me so much, and continue to inspire me.  We raised three amazing children Bob. 

Julia has wisdom beyond her years and teaches me so much…. she is an amazing mother and I am so proud of her. 
Peter has a solid, deep inner strength.  He still doesn’t get how good he is…. I see so much of you in him, the generosity of spirit, the gentle care he shows to those he loves.  He is kind, smart, funny and loving.  Some day he will be a father like you and his children will be so lucky.   
Angela misses you so very much Bob.  I’m so glad you were able to spend so much time with her over the past year.  She is so much like you in the way she sees beauty in things that others would just pass by.  She can make me laugh when I’m feeling sad… just like you did.  I am amazed at her creativity, the beauty she creates around her, the appreciation of the simple things, her kindness and love.  She makes me see things a different way.  I’m so lucky to be the mother of these three children that we had together.  The world is a better place because they’re here.   We miss you so much Bob.  I’ll make sure your grandchildren remember you.  I’ll make sure the grandchildren that haven’t yet been born hear about their Dido…. I’ll hug them for you and tell them your stories.  I’ll show them pictures.  We’ll hold your pots together and talk about what a great man you were. 

You will never be forgotten.
When we get together as a family to celebrate the milestones in our lives you’ll be there with us in spirit.  I celebrate the person you are.  Words can’t express the grief I feel for your loss. 
There’s a big hole in the world where you should be.

Bob was a true friend to me during a very difficult time in my life.  We
were neighbors for a number of years before my husband & I split up.  I was
left with a house in suburbia and no idea how to fix anything.  I was
blessed with Bob.  When I had a plumbing problem, an electrical problem, or
whatever, Bob would help me.  When I got all ambitious after my divorce
about fixing up the yard, fencing, putting up lattice around the garden, who
helped me?  Bob.  We dug holes, pored cement, nailed up lattice, you name
it.  Bob took me to Home Depot to buy lumber and made sure they didn’t rip
me off.

My best Bob story is the Sunday morning I woke up (like 6:00 a.m.), went to
my bedroom door and the door knob wouldn’t turn.  I was trapped.  I couldn’t
get out the window as it was two stories up and I had no ladder.  Back then,
I didn’t have a phone in the bedroom and I certainly didn’t have a cellphone
(this was sometime in 1992/3).  I was truly screwed, and would have
panicked, but I knew Bob would be working in his shop (right next door)
bright and early.  Sure enough, I started hollering at about 7:30 a.m., and
Bob appeared.  Brought over his ladder, some tools and came in through the
bedroom window.  We laughed our guts out “he came in through the bedroom
window” ala Beatles, then proceeded to take my bedroom door off the hinges
so we could get out.

That’s who Bob will always be to me.  The man who helped me dig post holes,
pore concrete, do fencing, and rescue a damsel in distress with his ladder
and tools.

Bob, I will never forget your kindness, your heart, your talent.  I have
pieces that (lucky me) I was able to get and will look at every day and
think of you, even though it’s been a long time since we were neighbors.  I
will miss your huge presence because I know there is a big hole where you
were

-Jo

A Message From Bob’s Sister Colleen

I just returned from Calgary where I was for Bob’s memorial and to spend time with Bob’s family, to grieve and remember my darling Brother. I came away proud of him in many ways but the one that has the greatest impact for me is the amazing family he has left behind.  His children are a legacy that many would wish to have and yet fall short.  I feel blessed to have had the time with them in the past four days and although they thought I was there for them, and I hope I was, I benefited more than anyone can know from being with them.  Bob lives on in each and everyone of them, Julia is the most wonderful mother, kind gentle and patient when all seems to be more than one can handle, competent in so many ways. Peter is the image of his father, becoming the kind of person that can do anything he puts his mind to, with a gentle spirit that is easy to love.  Angela who is artistic, adorable and self possessed, she is like Bob in so many ways supportive and loving beyond her years. Of course there is Jeannie, who although they were not married was truly a partner in  his life, being the greatest of friends and parents.

Bob’s many friends made me feel content knowing that he had surrounded himself with great people with even greater hearts and they all participated in creating a life with him that truly made him happy.  He called me recently to tell me just that, he was happy, he knew I worried and wanted me to know he was really great.

Although he had to go, leaving us too soon, he left an impression that will last my whole life.. not just the brother I leaned on, that my children adored, the son a mother is broken over leaving her behind.. but as a man who had grown to be someone that all of us have benefited from knowing, he made us all want to be better that we were this morning and every morning.

I love you, Julia, Peter and Angela, Jeannie my dear friend and sister in law. Of course my heart is aching for Michael, Brian, and my great nieces and nephews but most of all I am filled with joy for having had a life with Bob as my Brother, my friend and my confidante. Sadness is still here of course but my appreciation is great.

Thank you Bob, from your little sister, Colleen.

I was deeply saddened to hear the news of Bob’s passing. Bob was my first pottery instructor at the NMP Arts Centre 22 years ago. While he was my instructor several times over the last decades, he was also my friend. Bob made an impression on me. He was probably the easiest person to talk to I ever met, and he freely shared his interesting anecdotes, and his jokes that we often groaned at. He deeply loved his children and grandchildren, and openly shared his affection for them. He was an accomplished potter, but an even better person. The world is a sadder place without him in it.

I will miss Bob…

-Tracy Hammer

I am grateful to have known Bob and am honoured to call him my friend.  I will miss his humour, his banter, his wisdom and his deep reflection.  To have learned from him, shared songs, punny jokes, playful moments, profound moments, and for the many gifts he brought by just being himself, I am a richer person.  Thank you Bawb, I will miss your generous hugs and kind heart.-Fiona Goorman

Bob was my pottery dad. I first met him when I started taking classes at NMPAC about 6 years ago. Since then, I have spent a lot of my time at the studio. Most of my time there was spent visiting with Bob, chatting away while we unloaded the kilns together and pugged clay. I know that the reason I am in clay now is because of him. I was always at that studio because he was there. I think i enjoyed his company almost more than i enjoyed making pots. Over these years we have shared many great talks and we became friends. To me he will always be my BFF even though he thought that term was silly. I had been looking forward to learning how to reupholster furniture with him, a task we were both unfamiliar with and had just started making plans to tackle. The last time I saw him we were out for dinner at the pub with two other girls and later joined by more friends. He was happy. Im glad our last memories together were ones of joy and laughter. 

I will remember Bob as a caring generous insightful, kindhearted man who gave so
very much to so many who had the blessed good fortune to know him. I will
remember the smiles and sheer expressions of delight of ACAD students as they
related their day with Bob at Northmount Pleasant doing their ACAD practicum
course or having just spent time at the centre firing a kiln with Bob.  They
were so grateful for the privilege of meeting and working with him. I will
remember the faith Bob had in our young alumni as they embarked on teaching and
job opportunities at North Mount and the friendships and mentorship he
maintained with them as they continued on their professional careers. I will
remember the thoughtful and eloquent way Bob spoke about pots with the students
when he visited ACAD. He would leave us with brilliant insights. In a recent
class critique, we were discussing handles. And then, quoting Bob. “You know,
Bob says when you attach a handle, think of an airplane…the start of a handle
to a cup is akin to the takeoff and the final attachment, the landing. “ A
perfect analogy to consider so things go well, shared by Bob in his humble,
thoughtful manner but with palpable impact.

I will remember Bob’s exceptional pies! And will confess that I once held onto
his beautiful well-used ceramic pie plate left behind after a potluck,
extending the return date far beyond what would be considered acceptable so I
could enjoy it for a just a bit longer.

I will remember the beautiful rhythmic patient way he created his voluminous
pots as we all sat enrapt. It was with the softest touch in an effortless way.
Bob was as kind to the clay as he was with all who met and knew him.

I will miss you so very much Bob. My memories of you and all you taught us and
all you gave of yourself will be forever remembered and treasured.  I am so
blessed to have known you.

To Bob’s family, I send you my deepest, heartfelt sympathy. Bob was loved so
very much and his legacy will be honoured.


Katrina